Today, I feel like a real person. I woke up feeling awake and refreshed. I greeted Zach in his bedroom. While he was deciding whether or not he wanted to get out of bed or not, I brushed my teeth. I returned, lifted Zach out of his crib and started the morning routine. I even put on a little of The Beatles to make it fun. Once dressed, we went downstairs in search of breakfast. Daddy made Zach cereal with fruit while I packed his lunch for school (OK, this is sounding very Dick and Jane ... but believe me Dick and Jane beats the pants off of cancer). Then, we all sat around the table with Granny eating our breakfasts, drinking our tea and watching some of the Democratic National Convention speeches on You Tube. Zach learned to say "Hillary Clinton." "Politician" was a little harder.
After Zach and Ian left for school and work, Ann and I waited for my weekly IV Magnesium delivery. Fortunately, it arrived early, so we drove out to Tennessee Valley and walked out to the beach and back (about 3-4 mile loop). I was tired and hot under all my sun protective gear by the time we got back to the car, but otherwise feeling good. It was good to get out of the house, see the ocean and move my body a bit. I have not had a stomachache yet today.
If every day were like today, I could see my full recovery laid out in front of me like a sure thing. But for now I'll just take the day.
Clinic yesterday went well. Three great things: 1) I only have to go to clinic once a week now. 2) I can go into businesses "off hours" (as in when they're not busy). And 3), most importantly, I'll probably be able to get off the IV Magnesium sometime within the next two weeks, which means no more PICC line and no more 24-hour babysitting. Not bad for Day +70.
Although I'm feeling physically better, I'm still riding one particularly wicked emotional rollercoaster. Like Monday, I was just sad. "Why am I sad?" I wondered. I don't know -- I'm just sad. Then this morning, I wake up elated and jump out of bed like Richard Simmons to get the kid ready for school ... Then just twenty minutes later I'm sobbing into my oatmeal. I know it's a combination of all the drugs, situation, etc., but it's still one hell of a ride. If I have learned anything about how to handle it it's this: If you are having one of those sad moments, it's much better to just find a place to cry it out. It never lasts as long as you think and, it's true what they say, you'll feel better for it. Holding it in hurts worse -- and for longer.
Lastly, tipping my hat to the bright side, here's a top ten list of the best things about having cancer:
1. I am thinner than I've been in years and am still encouraged to drink chocolate banana soy protein shakes and other high calorie foods.
2. Since I am bald, I have no hair care regimen (what's a brush?). I can be showered and ready to go in twenty minutes flat.
3. I have lots more time to read.
4. With my many wigs, scarves and hats, I am a woman of mystery.
5. I had this terrible Planter's wart on the bottom of my right foot; it is gone -- the chemo must have blasted it away.
6. I have not had to shave in months.
7. I have a temporary handicap parking pass.
8. My skin looks & feels really smooth, considering it all died and came back again. I guess it's cancer's take on the "rejuvenation" facial.
9. When I am feeling bad or I can't sleep, I always have a little pill that can make it better.
10. Since it's summertime in Marin and hot, it's actually a good time to be bald. How many of you can just whip off your hair? I think not.
cheers,
Katie
Comments (11)
That's the best top 10 list EVAR!
:)
Posted by Tara Hernandez | August 27, 2008 6:09 PM
Posted on August 27, 2008 18:09
I wish we all had such a positive approach.Go Girl.
Posted by Jamie Zarling | August 27, 2008 6:09 PM
Posted on August 27, 2008 18:09
ENJOY....Repeat again tomorrow!! I'm so happy you're a "real" person living in a "real" world.
Loved your top 10....the gratitude expressed in humor is uplifting.
Posted by Cousin Barb | August 27, 2008 9:17 PM
Posted on August 27, 2008 21:17
Hi Katie!
Hooray for everyday days! Hooray for no stomachaches! Hooray for awesome top 10 lists! Hooray for you!
Remember when we were always trying to come up with Top 10 lists to appease the programming gods at AOL? Top 10 ways to lose weight (hey, we never included cancer)! Top 7 excuses for not exercising! That was one of my big marketing takeaways from that work experience -- people love lists!
It still holds true, apparently, in Germany, too. I've been meeting other expats through an online forum, and one of them is a woman who grew up in both Germany and the USA. Suffice it to say that she is perfectly bilingual, has a cool name, and is a gorgeous blonde. Her job as a a TV producer of popular science segments reminds me of the writing for TV you did. She says top 10 lists are also very popular. So keep blog writing -- it keeps our writing skills sharp! And of course, we love reading your posts.
Yesterday, I got all adventurous and decided to explore Munich a little after meeting Rob for lunch. I wound up getting lost for almost 3 hours! I still enjoyed it, but next time I will remember to bring a map. And less junk in my purse.
Thinking of you, cheering for you!
much love,
Charlene
Posted by Charlene | August 28, 2008 3:28 AM
Posted on August 28, 2008 03:28
Yay Katie! So glad to read this post. And remember you, can always reread it when you might be having a hard day or a hard hour.
All is well with me. We're going to relaunch the website in a few weeks, so you totally have to check it out.
Otherwise, Andrea and I are doing well with our 2 huge dogs -- a happy little family! We're desperately in need of a vacation, though ... :)
I miss you lots -- keep it up, Katie!
xoxo
Marie
Posted by marie | August 28, 2008 5:36 PM
Posted on August 28, 2008 17:36
This may sound a little strange coming from me but Dick and Jane Rule! It was Noah's first and favorite book and I think it may have something to do with his "off-beat" upbringing. I now live for these Dick and Jane moments. It is great that you are able to venture out in the Sun now. We are all looking forward to you guys returning to your roots...here in the grit, with us.
Posted by Curtis | August 28, 2008 10:36 PM
Posted on August 28, 2008 22:36
I'm so happy to hear that you had such a good day and that you have increased "outside" privileges. As you know, I'm a big believer in being where you are at emotionally. And so, I want to think that happy wed was brought to you by just letting it out on sad monday. You know, a la Rosie Grier singing "It's all right to cry, crying makes you feel better," from "Free To Be You and Me." Of course everything is also affected by your sleep (or lack of it) and physical well-being and that's just what it is with the big C. Never had the Dick and Jane, but we always had the Ramones and I think of "We're a Happy Family/We're a Happy Family/We're a Happy Family/Me & Mom & Dad!!! I live for those little everything's all right, just puttering happy in a domestic moments.
In that vein, I've been working on my paletas (fruit ice pops.) The Galia melon ones were pretty good, getting there. I hope the weather holds long enough for me to master some flavors for you guys. Think I might try chile cucumber and also some mango ones next...
love you,
Shona
Posted by Shona Mauro-Sachs | August 29, 2008 9:22 AM
Posted on August 29, 2008 09:22
Good stuff Katie... That's what I'm talkin' 'bout! I think enjoying things day by day, and counting our blessings are lessons we can all pay attention to a bit more. I count you and Ian (and Zach!) and all my friends like you among those blessings, and am SO happy to hear that you're feeling better (even if bit by bit, dy by day).
As always, sending warmth and sunshine from SoCal...
Posted by Aaron | August 29, 2008 9:44 AM
Posted on August 29, 2008 09:44
Katie,
Your are a very special Lady !!
My husband and I read your Blogs.
We are friends of Ron and Marleen.
Matter-of-fact I keep their teeth clean.
Just want you to know --We are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.
Every day I walk my little dog past a friends home-their daughter-in -law is fighting Cancer.
I offer up a Hail Mary and an Our Father for the both of you--every little bit helps !!
Thank you for sharing --It sure helps the rest of us to remember -not to take anything for granted!!
Posted by Gail Pierce | August 29, 2008 3:39 PM
Posted on August 29, 2008 15:39
I second the notion...Best top ten list ever....David Letterman would be proud.
Posted by Peter Z. | August 29, 2008 8:02 PM
Posted on August 29, 2008 20:02
Dear Katie,
Glad to hear that you had a"Dick and Jane" moment. As life becomes more stresful, these moments of connecting with someone on a simple level mean so much. But unfortunately just as silently and quickly as they appear, a funk arrives for no good reason. But becasue of these funks, the good stuff is ever so much more meaningful.
The Beatles!!? I didn't know you like the Bealtes. I just got a CD of John Lennon's best the other day including "Imagine", "Woman", "Shaun" and 17 others. I had a good time walking the other day listening to it.
We've been watcing the DNC and found it super interesting. I was impressed with Obama putting his plan so plainly-maybe another JFK? Anyway the Republicans have their work cut out for them repairing their BUTTHOLE that the Dems tore up. I would hate to be the one planning the stagedy-what ab ovewhelming reaponsibility!!!
Well, got lots of work to do-but am gald to have a job.
Lots of Love,
Mom
Posted by Mom | August 29, 2008 9:40 PM
Posted on August 29, 2008 21:40