Our intrepid explorer
Zach has hit the "Why" stage, that terrible time for parents where every question leads to another question no matter how trivial. It could be tolerated if he asked mostly useful questions, but instead he gets into this loop where he ends up asking the same things over and over again. Finally, it becomes a cacophony of "Whys" and they're coming so fast that he doesn't even hear you when you try to answer.
Well, lately I can relate to all that haberdashery of the mind. Now that I'm feeling better, we have a lot of big decisions to make as a family about what comes next. Figuring out what you want is one thing, knowing what you want is another -- and then there's what you can afford. Ian and I have been kicking around the idea on and off for a few months now: Should we sell our house and move? Hmmm haaa hmmm hmmm (silence on the subject for a few weeks.) If we did move, where would we move? Would we stay in San Francisco or bite the bullet and move to the suburbs? Hmmm Haaa If we stay in SF, where would Zach go to school? Would we be able to get him into a good school (yes, it's ridiculous -- I've have done more for "applying" for preschool than I did to get into college). All these questions and more.
There are basically three different scenarios:
1) Sell our current home and move to a better neighborhood in San Francisco. This is certainly the priciest, diciest option. Ideally, we'd love to live in Mission Dolores or Noe Valley, but most likely what we can afford in these coveted neighborhoods is a condo. Although I am not completely opposed to condos, we may not be getting more "house" than we have, just a better location and a set of distant "roommates," if you will, in the second flat. Today, we wandered into an open house on the old street where we used to rent -- a short stretch of Cumberland at the bottom of Dolores Park. It was beautiful; That street sure makes my heart pound with good memories and the flat was choice, too. It's what they call "finished," in the Edwardian style with bits of character amidst modern flair. It's also about the same size as our house now (the living space) with two bedrooms and one and a half baths. We'd share the yard and there's tandem parking.
2) Move to Marin. Believe it or not, there are deals here right now and we could definitely get more house for our money ... But both Ian and I aren't quite ready to give up urban life (apparently neither is Zach because he's been saying "Can we live in the San Disco house?"). But man, if there was a right time to do this, it would be now.
3) Keep our current house. I love my house ... and when we make all the improvements we need to make to sell the house, I'll probably love it even more. But we've been there nearly ten years now and the neighborhood is just as trashy as it ever was -- and a little more violent, apparently, although I haven't witnessed anything personally. This is also the safest option; Same monthly mortgage and property taxes.
Anyway, we're really going to make the decision within the next couple of weeks. We called an agent; She's doing the numbers, sending us possible listings and taking us touring on Sunday. I'm hoping the information will make the decision crystal clear for us, because right now I feel like a corn kernel in an air popper, visualizing myself in different scenarios. It's driving me nuts, but it's also sort of exciting.
Well, this is where my head is ... You can tell I'm physically feeling better because this is where my head is ...
The health report: My platelets went up (from about 80 to 144) ... Horray! And all the rest of my cells --RBC, WBC, Hematocrit, etc. are hovering just above normal. I'm having a bone marrow biopsy tomorrow, where they'll look for vagrant CLL (results in six weeks). The test is simple, but uncomfortable, which means I'll get Demerol and a nasty bruise. I am also getting an MRI on my right ankle; It's been bothering me a bit sometimes when I walk, creaking and groaning and all that. I don't know how much this has to do with my BMT, but I figure if you're already in the shop ...
My biggest complaints: sleeplessness, fatigue and weakness. The nurse practitioner told me the steroids atrophy the muscles somewhat and I really notice, like going up stairs with a laundry basket is a chore. Lifting Zach forces a full grunt and running, jumping riding bikes is out of the question.
My most coveted moments: Ian and I went out for sushi. My hair is growing so much that it's almost ready to get trimmed. Zach has his first real "buddy," a boy named Carter at school and we like his parents. At dinner last night, Zach announced that I was his "favorite girl."
Well, all for now. Off to get some sleep (hopefully).
--Katie
Comments (12)
Wow -- this is all good and exciting news.
I know what you mean about so much energy going into imagining yourself in different living scenarios. It IS exciting, and a privilege, but also anxiety-causing and usually I just want to RESOLVE it.
Speaking of resolution, our move-in date is Feb. 24th. We have already chosen our flooring, to be installed shortly thereafter. Words do not express our excitement and anticipation. We can't wait to have you guys over.
My mom got a play ticket for you to Crime and Punishment in March. I'll email you to see if you can go.
Adrienne
Posted by Adrienne Van Gorden | January 28, 2009 10:56 AM
Posted on January 28, 2009 10:56
All good news and we love to hear it!!!!!! Great and glorious decisions to be made. We'll be in San Diego the week of March 20th with Becky, Bridget and maybe Lori. Brad will be there the week of March 7th. So, we're looking forward to another Zarling get together. This time with Ian and Zach!!!!!!!! So, just let us know when you are ready.
Posted by Anonymous | January 28, 2009 7:10 PM
Posted on January 28, 2009 19:10
We of course are campaigning for y'all to move to Marin.
Join us. JOIN UUUSSSSSS....
:)
Posted by Tara Hernandez | January 29, 2009 2:33 PM
Posted on January 29, 2009 14:33
Dear Katie,
When reading through your options, I think I sensed the most flip flop & fly about the possibility of Cumberland and environs. Not that you're asking me, but I say you guys should do what makes you the most happy and excited to be someplace. You can't underestimate how that affects your overall well-being.
Glad you are feeling good enough to think about these things. Exciting.
love,
Shona
Posted by Shona | January 31, 2009 1:32 PM
Posted on January 31, 2009 13:32
Decisions, decisions--but what joy to have these decisions! These are much happier decisions than many choices the past year has required. Housing decisions are major but not irreversible. Your head may have to rule the budget; but within those constraints, follow your heart. Love those good blood numbers! Lovingly, Eva
Posted by Eva | February 1, 2009 6:01 PM
Posted on February 1, 2009 18:01
I'm so happy to hear you're up and about more and have decisions to make. Questions regarding a move will always present various answers that only you will be able to evaluate with your soul. But at least you do have a choice - think of those that don't and how difficult some of their challenges are.
I especially want to thank you for your generous spirit.I fell asleep this weekend surrounded by the warmth of your love. I'm anxious to hear how your adventure was in looking at the various areas - any new thoughts??? Love is sent your way.
Posted by Cousin Barb | February 3, 2009 7:55 AM
Posted on February 3, 2009 07:55
Katie,
You're such a good writer. I hope you turn this into a book some day.
Meredith in Kigali, Rwanda
Posted by Meredith | February 5, 2009 11:53 AM
Posted on February 5, 2009 11:53
Yeah... I always knew Ian was a suburban dad in mod clothing. So which minivan are you going to get?
(Do I know how to push Ian's buttons or what?!)
Jokes aside, I LOVE hearing that you're feeling better Katie, and that the "numbers" are looking better... Seriously puts a HUGE smile on my face here at work. Whatever you decide about the house, I'll look forward to visiting when I'm up north. I will miss those 2am quesadillas just around the corner from Florida St. though!
-A
Posted by Aaron | February 13, 2009 11:22 AM
Posted on February 13, 2009 11:22
Hi Katie! Hope you had a lovely Valentine's Day! I too can relate to the indecision about the living situation. My partner owns a home in TN which we just put on the market. However, we could live so cheaply there! We rent here in Brooklyn but that has its drawbacks too, so now we're looking at houses. But do we really want to move out to NJ? Is it even smart to buy in this market? How will things change in the next year? Choices, choices! I'm trying to be patient and wait for a sign, but none so far. In your case, it does sound like you might be ready to say good-bye to Cumberland but only you know that for sure! Miss you! xoxo
Posted by Marie | February 15, 2009 2:42 PM
Posted on February 15, 2009 14:42
Hey Katie!
Catching up on your posts, now that I've had a couple of weeks to settle back into life in northern Sweden. Lots of big decisions, yes, but it is lovely to have these choices. My advice: Do what makes you feel most alive! Being in New York for the holidays reminded me of what it felt like to just vibrate with vitality and excitement. Now I'm trying to recapture that feeling with art projects.
I loved your description of feeling like a popcorn kernel under pressure. There have been a lot of times in the past couple of months and I'm sure in the months to come when I'm not sure if I'm about to laugh or cry. Decisions and choices tend to do that to me! 2009 is sure to be interesting for a lot of us. Roberto and I have been having "which continent" conversations lately. It's all so abstract sometimes I might as well be pondering whether I'd be a better fish or bird!
Anyway, whatever decision, Marin or San Disco, we're here for ya!
much love,
Charlene
Posted by Charlene | February 16, 2009 3:29 PM
Posted on February 16, 2009 15:29
Katie,
I love your current house, but realize that there may be concern re: the area and schools. As everyone says, choose what suits you. I'm torn, as I love the city and the country (not suburban). Glad to hear you're feeling better; hard to believe Zach is 3 already. The big news here is that Kim moved in with me in Nov. and will probably stay until Aug. when, hopefully, she'll be off to Teachers College to work on a PhD in comparative ed. The even bigger news is that Grandma moved to an Independent/Assisted living arrangement, Collingswood Manor, about 1 mile from me. It was a fast, taxing move at the end of Dec.-beginning of Jan., as a room was available, which doesn't happen very often. She was so lonely, calling me 3-4 times a day, even though I took her out a couple of times a week and had her over for dinner once a week. Her memory isn't what it used to be; she was getting depressed (not caring how she looked or not having much interest in anything). Since going into the Manor, she's fiesty and complainy as usual, doesn't have time for me very often :) (although I visit her probably 5 days a week either during the day or after work and have her over at least once a week), and is into activities galore--exercise every day, bingo, book club, movie nights, etc. She still has her car so goes to McDonald's a couple of times a week and continues going to her church for Bible study (Wed.) and Sunday service. I got her the premium tv package, but need to go over channels with her as she doesn't quite understand how to find the "new" channels. I'm so much more relaxed knowing she has people who are around 24/7 and who check on her if she isn't at dinner (she gets 1 meal a day and takes care of breakfast and lunch on her own), or doesn't show up at an activity she normally attends. This place is great--her apartment, which is almost as big as the one she had minus a kitchen (I brought her a microwave), is cleaned once a week; she gets all of her linens washed once a week; dinner every day; and medical check-ups available on a weekly basis, as well as a nurse, stationed on the more needy floors, 24/7. Her phone number is the same and her address is
Collingswood Manor Apt. 319, Collingswood, NJ 08108. Take care and all my love to you, Ian, Zach, Peter, Jeni, Maizie, & Zoe.
Aunt Kathy
Posted by Aunt Kathy | February 20, 2009 6:27 AM
Posted on February 20, 2009 06:27
No update makes me wonder if you are moving. I take no news as good news in the health department. Love to all the Buono's, Eva
Posted by Eva | March 7, 2009 7:41 AM
Posted on March 7, 2009 07:41